Grand Slam Journey

45. Coffee with Dana: Embracing Life's Transitions - From Workplace Shifts to Athletics and Parenting

• Klara Jagosova • Season 2

Share episode

Life's a series of transitions - whether it's starting a new job, moving to a different place, or even your kids graduating to higher school levels. This is a journey we've all taken, and we're here to tell you that navigating through these can be less daunting and more fulfilling than you think. Join us as we delve into our personal experiences and dish out practical advice to help you brave these changes and come out victorious.

We discuss workplace transitions. We highlight the importance of curiosity when venturing into something new and how celebrating even the smallest wins can be a game-changer. 

We dive into the specifics of adjusting to a new language, culture, schools, and college athletics. Reflecting on our own journeys, we underline the importance of understanding your role as an athlete and the balance between going fast and slow. We also discuss how simple questions can lead to valuable insights.

We also contemplate the growing influence of AI technology and how technology is impacting our lives. How can we foster critical thinking and creativity in our children, ensuring they use the new technology for good? 

We also emphasize the critical role of parents in aiding their children's transition to high school and college. Let's embrace these transitions together, learn, grow, and set ourselves up for success.

Send us a text

8 EIGHT SLEEP
Save $200 on 8Sleep and get better quality and deeper sleep with automatic temperature adjustment

LEORÊVER COMPRESSION AND ACTIVEWEAR
Get 10% off Loerêver Balanced Compression and Activewear to elevate your confidence and performance

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

This content is also available in a video version on YouTube.

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with someone who may enjoy it as well, and consider leaving a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. You can also submit your feedback directly on my website.

Follow @GrandSlamJourney on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and join the LinkedIn community.

Klara:

Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Grand Slam Journey podcast, where I, together with my guests, discuss various topics related to finding our passion and purpose, maximizing our potential sports, life after sports and transitioning from one chapter of our lives to the next, growing our skills and leadership and whatever we decide to put our minds at a standstill For myself and my guests today. Areas of business and technology. Today is one of my regular coffee chats with Dana and Anna. Well, today Dana only Anna was unavailable, and so we hope to catch up with her during our next series.

Klara:

The main topic of our conversation today is transitions. Dana and I share personal experiences and offer practical advice for navigating transitions and achieving success in new roles, environments and cultures. We talk about the importance of preparation, perseverance and patience in navigating transitions, the importance of having a plan, building discipline and creating habits and routines that drive success. We talk about the beauty of starting something new and approaching it with curiosity, while coping with negative emotions during a transition, and the importance of celebrating the small wins and milestones. We also touch base on the adoption of AI technology. It seems the whole world is transitioning to this new AI trend and we share our views about the potential for positive change. Some of the key topics covered today are strategies for transitioning to a new role, value of fresh perspective, coping with pressure and stress in sports business, as well as tackling negative emotions that may come with high expectations to perform challenges of parenthood. And how do we plan for the future.

Klara:

Note that opinions discussed in this podcast are of our own and shall not be attributed to our employers, apple and Ericsson. As always, this is your host, clara Gossova. If you enjoyed this episode, I would highly appreciate it if you could please share it with someone you believe may enjoy it as well, and consider leaving a review on Apple podcasts and Spotify. It will help me greatly. Thank you for tuning in and I hope you enjoyed the listen.

Dana:

For today, I wanted us to talk about transitions. You have recently moved a big move from California, texas. We're constantly in a state of transition. For me, I am in the process of starting a new role at work, so new team, new organization, new set of responsibilities. My kids are changing school levels, so they're transitioning. I feel like at every single moment in life you're going through one change or another. It just got me curious about how do I approach transition. Am I doing it the right way? Is there a better way? What else can I do to make this a smooth process for me and for the people around me?

Klara:

That's a great kickoff. I know we briefly talked about the topic and contemplated about what to cover today and, just reflecting back, I think everybody can look at transitions differently and I also wonder if it can have different meaning for some versus the other. So I'm curious about where the conversation takes us and where we end up. When it comes to you talking about around transitions, what makes it easy and hard, and maybe some tips that we believe both of us maybe implemented to make it easier Sounds good. Do you want to kick us off, dana, with maybe your reflection? I'm actually curious. We've known each other for a number of years now.

Klara:

I think we all can look at the world in a very different lens and I've always been curious even about your personal transitions. Perhaps what were some of the hardest ones or most challenging ones that you look back? Or even perhaps your initial transition coming from Lebanon to US, because I think those can be two very different worlds and I often believe that some of the hardest transitions going through them early on can actually set us up for a success later in life. So how was it for you, maybe coming from Lebanon and the US? I don't know if that's one of the hardest ones you've gone through. So feel free to draw on your memory, because I think what's hard for some may not be hard for others. Gosh, that was a long time ago.

Dana:

But for me that was not a hard transition or one of the hardest. I think the hard part about it was leaving your family, your friends, everybody you know behind and kind of starting fresh and a completely new setting. But it was exciting at the same time. It's something that I wanted and I was looking forward to and I think one of the things that I tried to do before actually coming into the US is make sure that they have a place to stay. I know where to get transportation and food and just like the basic stuff right, so you're not scrambling and I reflect a lot of time. It was just a time of excitement.

Dana:

I know it was hard emotionally in the beginning because now you must see your family a lot, but I think one of the things that made it easier is, one, you know a little bit of prep and, two, being open to gestures of kindness that the universe throws at you.

Dana:

I remember I had a professor in college who by some accident fluke end up visiting Texas at the same time I was moving to the US and he drove down from Dallas to College Station and he found out that the chairman of the department I was going to study in was actually a guy from Cyprus and he went to school in Lebanon and he went and he introduced himself and he told him about me and that guy ended up hiring me and giving me my first job as a research assistant. So it was the same act of kindness, right, that your college professor decided to drive and make a point to see you and check on you and opening up this window of opportunity. I think just reflecting on all the different transitions is that sometimes it gets so overwhelmed. But if you open your heart, I guess, to acts of kindness from others, you'll see that the universe will treat her right and make it a little bit easier.

Klara:

I love that. That's actually a great story and I think that really ties into transition and just how I see curiosity. Because what stood out to me from your story is when the transition is something that we're looking forward to, we tend to be more open to new opportunities and we look at the transition through a lens of opportunity. And then you. I think that naturally just attracts positive relationships and new things that bring more positivity. Just to actually summarize, I should know this. I'm actually partly embarrassed that I do not know your full story. Did you come to US for school or did you come for work right away, and where did you start? So I came for grad school.

Dana:

I graduated college in Lebanon and I always wanted to come to the US and work and study and live here, and so I was just applying to different schools my senior year and I ended up coming to Texas A&M call station and one of the weirdest thing is just walking down the streets and I recall in the summer and started raining. In Lebanon it does not rain in the summer, so rain in the summer was the first, I guess, something you need to get used to. And the other weird thing was that he would be walking down and people randomly would say howdy. I was like what's wrong with these people. I don't know them. Why are they saying hi to me? It was a great place to land that to me. Some wonderful people from all over the world it's such a diverse community and made some friendships that are still persisted this day. It was awesome.

Klara:

And how did you pick college station from Lebanon?

Dana:

So I was applying to some of the top engineering schools in the country and this was one where there is a good opportunity of me getting some financial support and it was affordable and it was a good program. So I checked all the boxes. And how is your English?

Klara:

Do you learn English in Lebanon and was that transition hard for you? And I think there is something about studying in English, but studying in English in the US and in the South, like in Texas, because Texas has a little bit of a slang. So I remember my own challenges. And in Europe especially I don't know if it's in Lebanon you tend to learn the British English more, so the words are still quite a bit different than you have to adjust to the American versions at some points. How is that for you?

Dana:

So I was lucky. In Lebanon at the time I was growing up you had one of two options you either go to an English speaking school or you go to a French speaking school. Because Lebanon is a Francophone country and the luck part is that my parents though both of them are French educated they chose to put me in an English speaking school. So you start learning English at age three and you learn most of your subjects in English. You learn math and science and English like reading, writing all that in English, and you learn Arabic and maybe social studies in Arabic. So it wasn't difficult at all, compared to other people I know who were French educated and came to the US and that was a much bigger struggle for them. So I feel fortunate that way. But the part that I felt difficult about being in the South is some of the communities that it was very hard for me.

Klara:

I had a neighbor who invited me one day to hang out with her and her family and she has a group of friends who are from the South African American community and I swear to you, clara, I did not understand a word I can totally relate because, especially coming to US and lending in University of Texas in Arlington and being an athlete so there's a large community of you know whole variety of backgrounds and especially quite a few basketball players that we were friends with I felt so embarrassed asking like excuse me, like three or four times because it's just the different slang sometimes that I just had no clue, I just couldn't get. So I know what you mean.

Dana:

Tell me, what about you? What was the, what was the good, positive part about you transitioning from Czech to the US?

Klara:

I think the hard part for me was actually in some ways the same, the family just being way farther and knowing I'm not going to see them for longer. Although I've always traveled for tennis, I've been used to in some ways being on the road and I've lived on my own since I was 13 in a different apartment in the city. But I've always knew in some ways maybe in two, three weeks I'd be home. So this was kind of longer period of time where I knew I was substantially farther away and I knew I'm not going to be home until, I guess, the winter break. Weirdly enough, one of the weirdest thing that I had to go to is go to classes, because I never went to school. I had what we call individual plan ever since I was in eighth or ninth grade because I always played tennis. So usually in the Czech Republic when you come to university, that's kind of the free part where you can choose which classes you can go to and you can be more flexible. But for me, especially in the US and being an athlete, you actually have to go to every single class to have a good attendance because you're on scholarship, so they're kind of watching every step of your way After. For me it was actually the hardest that for the first time I was in eighth grade I had to actually attend the class and show up for every single class. So that took a little bit of adjustment. And then I remember just the language at the beginning was such a barrier and I thought I knew English actually on the tour when I played tournaments I was one of the best ones that some of my friends asked me to help them out translating and getting things arranged. But there is a whole matter level that I haven't anticipated to actually just talking, conversing and arranging things, to actually studying in English. And I remember back in the day we didn't have obviously anything like Google translate, so sitting in the dorm with like the big Czech English vocabulary and looking up every single word by word. I did have some software on the computer that sometimes speed it up, but I couldn't get all of it. So I remember in the first two or three months I was like sitting at night studying, probably until midnight, because everything just takes so much longer. It's like, oh my God, only if this was in Czech I wouldn't have to study at all because obviously you would catch most of it from the lecture and then in the exams, like taking the exams. Sometimes there's one or two words. If you don't know it in the sentence it can totally change the meaning of that question. So there was really hard at the beginning. And then I feel like people say after first semester it's just gotten so much easier after that point. There's almost like a hurdle you overcome to where, oh, now I'm like getting things. So it got drastically easier from that point on.

Klara:

And then another thing that was actually adjusting a little bit to the practice and training and the college practices and team practices. So, coming from the tennis background, obviously much of tennis practice is practicing and playing as an individual. You do practice doubles as a pair or like in couples, but a lot of the practice in tennis is based on what I have done to date, really based on your strength and helping you become stronger as a human and a player, based on your body composition, stroke skills et cetera. But in college it's way more difficult to do that because you have a whole team and you only have one or two coaches max. And so the team practice and dynamic and competing in tennis also as a team, because you have individual player but you still compete as a team was definitely a dynamic.

Klara:

I was trying to wrap my head around and figure out sort of what that means and also figure out what it means to be an athlete and representing your school. And the whole sport in the US is so big and if you're an athlete you're kind of one that is to represent the school, so it comes with certain responsibility. So I think growing into that responsibility and really understanding what is it to be an athlete and competing for school and representing I think it's definitely something I had to grow into and that took me probably a little bit of time to figure out what that really means, until it's settled.

Dana:

But you mentioned something about at some point things got easier, and I think that's a commonality in all transitions. There is an inflection point where suddenly you feel oh, this is not as difficult as I thought it is. And just curious, is it the preparation, is it the perseverance, is it the patience? What can one do to survive up to that inflection point? So, to make that palatable, I guess, up to the inflection point and you're good with it, yeah, that's a great question.

Klara:

I don't know the right answer. I think it may vary for each person depending where you at. I know for me at that point it was definitely just sticking through that journey and just going day by day and putting in the work and effort and at some point you just become better at it. I guess the system two versus system one. It just automates things right. You become better in the language, you create the skill and then I always say, even when I start a new job maybe to relate it to a new role I feel like you hit certain miles of efficiency and you kind of feel it.

Klara:

I can't explain it, but even when I take a new role or even starting at a new company, I feel like there is a milestone around two, three months. It's like, oh OK, I get this. Now you get a little bit of groove, and then there's another one that you had around six to eight months, it just depends and so you're able to almost run faster, generate more volume. I know I felt that in the past that it's usually it's based on the relationship you build, the language, putting the efforts, sticking with the grid and building those kind of almost habits to. For me, it sounds like make the train run smoother and faster and gaining efficiency. How about for you, dana? You've changed roles a few times as well. So, looking at your transition, how do you generate the next level of efficiency in transitions?

Dana:

It's a great question.

Dana:

I don't know if I've had the same approach to every change I made trying to think about it, but for this most recent one I knew it's coming, I was planning for it and one of the things that I tried to make happen to smooth the transition is allow this period of wrapping something up and then ramping up for the new role and responsibility without throwing myself into the deep end, without any floaters, and I feel that kind of helped in a little while, just to kind of ease into things.

Dana:

I know that's not always feasible, so creating that transition within the transition, if you will, period sometimes can be helpful. The other point is to the point you're raising is creating those routines, because the more of a structure you put in place you automate things so that you free up your brain power to focus on the more difficult things, the easier and more manageable things become. I think these are two of the key aspects and the third one is just knowledge. Like you need to be as pronged and be open and curious and asked enough questions, even if sometimes you feel like, oh, that's a dumb question. But the more you ask, the more knowledge you get, the more you're able to have a perspective on the thing that you're getting into and be better prepared to put those structures, those systems in place to help you operate better.

Klara:

Yeah, and just to touch on something that you said in many ways I love new transitions because of what you mentioned the curiosity, and it fuels my curiosity. Once I start something new, I become a sponge, and there was such a steep learning curve which I typically laugh, because you can see the progress and how easier things become by month three. You knew nothing and now you know this, and then it's just the progress that you're able to create is really thrilling to me. Now I'm trying to tie to the point I was trying to make and I think I lost it. I wrecked myself in the story. Yeah, I forgot the point actually.

Dana:

Anyways, when you talk about milestones getting to 1.3, which seems reasonable, I think the challenge is, from 0 to 3 is the level of expectations that maybe others put on you or you put on yourselves and you feel like you want to go at 100 miles an hour from day one and it's just not feasible. So it's that push and pull between going so fast but you want to do it the right way versus going slow, because eventually you'll go faster and striking that balance between what's possible and what you put on yourself in terms of expectations, and I think that's the other thing. That's stuff about transitions right, you move into the city and you think that you're going to rebuild your social circle in 1 to 3 months, but that's not true. People tell you that it takes a year to really feel like you've settled into a new city. So it's that rush to get things to that next stage and the expectations of what's going to happen and how you're going to contribute and how you're going to live during that period. It's just difficult to navigate or grapple with.

Klara:

Yeah, I agree, and I remember what I wanted to say. The expectations play a big role, for sure, and so being more relaxed with what you expect from yourself and not being too harsh I think usually it's us who set more of the expectations on us than maybe the outside. So knowing how to approach it. But I think the curiosity, if you follow the curiosity, it will always take you to the right place. At least that's my perspective. And so come back to the point I was trying to make and I forgot.

Klara:

I think there is a beauty in the start, in a way that we typically approach new things through Korea's mindset, because there's nothing else we have. Starting something new, you don't know things, and so I actually often believe, and from my perception, when you start something new, it's the best way to see the world or program business from a new lens, and that's where you get some of the most fresh perspectives. So sometimes, when people start in a company, I feel like some of these questions are some of the basic questions, but they're sometimes the most valuable question that if you're running the business or you are already living in the city, you don't ask these questions typically, because you just sort of accept them. This is just things are being done in the status quo, and so I really love the fresh perspective or people who are starting new business and you have specific amount of time where you can actually ask these questions. And again, sometimes they can seem basic and rudimentary. I actually don't think they are.

Klara:

I think those are the questions we should continue to ask and this new lens and fresh perspective. I think that often can refresh how the businesses run or how the team operates, because you just see it from a new lens, and so I think there is a lot of value that often I have even seen companies or teams underestimate and they take it almost as annoying, sometimes like if you have the wrong leader, I was like, oh my gosh, why are you asking this question? But it's actually the simplest and the kind of most basic questions that I think are often forgotten and need to be asked, and so that's a super valuable time in something that people should pay more attention to. So how do you deal?

Dana:

with negative emotions during transition, and that could be the stress generated from the change. Right Change can be exciting, but at the same time, it can generate negative feelings in someone who's experiencing it. What's your trick?

Klara:

I'm trying to think of, like there's maybe two perspectives, and this is something. When I think about transition sorry, I'm taking slightly different tangent to your question because for me I'm more nervous before the transition happened. I'm more of a person like there was some sort of decision. Even with this move example, I knew the move was coming and we started deciding about January, february we're going to be moving, and that period of like January to February I sort of stressed before the move happens because I'm like, oh my gosh, when am I going to live and what's going to happen? We got to pack and I can sort of imagine and all of that thing is super messy for me. I hate that period.

Klara:

So I sort of like pre-stress and I feel like I actually move in order to become better mover. I feel like I've improved quite a bit. But that period is like the messy period of unknown is where I almost pre-stress. Once I know where I'm moving and I have a house, as far as I have a plan and I know where I'm starting, I actually really love that starting period and so even that move, I'm really good in executing and so once I get into the doing and execution mode, that's where my strengths are, even if it's something new or somewhere else. I just switch into curiosity and that carries me forward through getting better at whatever the new thing is or settling in a new place.

Klara:

So I don't know if I answer your question. I think even just tying it to the first move that we talked about, like moving to the US maybe that's the best one to look at, because what I really just focus on sticking with the routine and making sure I'm improving little by little, day by day and if you zero down on just these small little things and look inside of you at yourself I think maybe that's the perspective I love, because you have nobody to compare yourself to is almost like new you in a new environment, like new things, and that really allows you to zero down on what's right for you, focusing on how can I grow in this new environment and how can I progress a little bit more, one day at a time. That's what I find really thrilling. So, focusing on these micro habits and driving progress little by little, from day by day to week by week, you can really see a drastic transition. If you compare yourself to where you started to two, three, four, six months later. I don't know if that answers your question it does.

Dana:

It's celebrating the little wins, getting to those mini milestones, I guess, and having the patience to cross through them and take a moment to celebrate.

Klara:

Yeah, and I think what you mentioned is you can see the progress way more at the beginning. Maybe that's why I love the transition, because there is such a steep learning curve typically that the results come almost faster because you just taken everything in. So the fresh perspective carries you through on a daily basis, Not like that.

Dana:

I still don't know what to do, though, with this nagging sound in your brain that says, oh, he's got to do better. You know, like you guys have to know, that pressure to perform right, if pressure to perform the minute you get into the course, right, yeah, half time just to kind of warm up during a game, mm, hmm, I think you have to deal with that, and I don't know if some of your guests you've talked about that right as they transition from their tennis career or sports career into a new endeavor. How did they take that athletic drive and, at the same time, not turn the pressure to perform into something negative?

Klara:

I learned that I have a athletic answer to that. I think that's what adapted from my tennis mindset to my life. I used to be a huge stressor. I actually am a person that I strongly believe I never performed well under stress. I actually had to learn how to thrive on stress and rewire my brain. I was so bad that in a third grade I remember in our elementary school we had exams to choose the most talented kids and I so stress myself out. It's not even the family, they were totally fine how I do, but it was like my expectations that I started crying right before the exam, just in case I do poorly, and so I think that's my natural reaction Just freak out. So I had to really work on rewiring the brain.

Klara:

How I think about it now? The easiest answer is actually by Billy Jean King, which he always say pressure is a privilege and when you think about it, there's so much power in that sentence. Tell me more. Yeah, this is one of my former coaches. How me understand is when you feel pressured, these are the moments that you train for, and so when I rewired my brain on the tennis court, I used to be stressed over break points or match points like some of the most important points, because sometimes it comes down to how you play these points, whether you win or lose. When you help me rewire, well, these are actually the points that you're looking forward to play. These are the points that you put in all the work and effort into, day by day to practice. Those are the ones that you should be looking forward to, and just that simple sentence kind of makes me think about it differently, and so I almost had to create an internal bridge in my mind to move from the stress to this. I'm looking forward. Excitement, yeah, and people always say anxiety and stress. It's very closely to excitement. You can sort of move from one to another. I think that internal bridge is different for everyone. I don't know how to create the bridge in other people's minds, like they need to find the bridge themselves. I sort of know how I shift myself there and actually meditation practice that I've taken on in the past number of years helps me funny enough, even on the court now to get to that mindset better. So when I go now and play, I still know how to shift in those important moments to that excitement mode and you step into this.

Klara:

Pressure is a privilege. That's where you lead, Cause I also strongly believe as leaders. That is really when you recognize your leadership. Nobody really needs leaders if things are going well. I really feel like you recognize leaders in the tough times. That's when you need to step into your leadership shoes. Pressure is a privilege, so I think it's a little bit of playing with our minds and thinking about how do I build the bridge from oh my gosh I'm stressed too oh my gosh. This is an amazing opportunity. I'm here to perform and get into this real presence that you feel the pressure, you feel the room and you thrive on it. I love this.

Dana:

The power of free frame Right yes. What's perceived as a negative into a positive and tricking your brain and your body to react accordingly yes.

Klara:

I can do it in different ways. Power poses Sometimes I actually do practice those. Funny enough, I used to have RFP meetings and sometimes right before I would go to the bathroom, stall and stand in the V shape position to feel extensive and powerful, or before interviews. I think everybody works different ways. Music if you have a specific song, I think music sometimes can get us there. Or meditation. It's also, I think, as I've grown and even in my tennis journey, it's more of remembering and being aware of that mindset.

Klara:

How does it feel to be in your head when you're performing well and then, in the important moment, creating a set of routines based on how you wake up that day that can help you to get to the same mindset so you create consistency of how your mind feels in that important moment. There can be variety of ways, right? Sometimes we just wake up grumpy just because sometimes you're low on energy. There's different ways you can wake up. But if you get to that important moment, how do you get your mind ready to be at your best possible form and shape for that important thing that you need to perform? That was curious about your transition from Lebanon to US. What was your most difficult transition?

Dana:

Dana, oh, hands down becoming apparent. That was the toughest thing I've ever done in my life. It's still not easy, but the physical and emotional conditions, stressful conditions that you're under. Some people just enjoy relish those early days of parenthood not me. But I just realized, coming out of that transition, that experiences that what doesn't break you make you stronger, that you'll eventually come along to the other side and you'll use the whole experience at some point with rosy lenses that you're stupid enough to repeat it, but, hands down, the most rewarding thing I've ever done. That's also the most difficult thing, for sure.

Klara:

I can only imagine, since I don't have kids, and it's literally the one thing that I admire other women to go through, because I think it's one of the most challenging things in life to do. I admire the women, special in the US, because I think, at least for me in Czech, the culture that we have is I've been mostly raised by my grandparents and we have the social kindergarten and schools, but here you pretty much thrown into the water and completely alone and you got to figure everything out. So kudos to you, dana. I think, just from my observations, I don't know how you manage all you have managed with your amazing, energetic kids that definitely have the energy after you and your career. So I feel like you've gotten it down and maybe you should write a book about it, right?

Dana:

Oh, five for five. Thank you, though you made me think you know, like, how we talk about what. We're constantly in transition and I feel like the entire world right now is going through a period of transition. You know, you get, you know climate warming and all that, but from a technology standpoint, where the seismic shift, in adopting AI, right, and you see people, some people are super excited, some people are freaking out how are you handling that transition?

Klara:

I tend to lean on the excitement mode, but I think that's my default mechanism. I think we talked in the podcast with Paulie that I think most of the time the general response of our brain unless we train it is to be nervous of anything that we don't know. But I do think there's going to be brand new opportunities that will come out of that that will potentially recreate the way we live, do work and thrive as humans, and if it doesn't happen, then that's going to be obviously super sad for humanity overall. How are you looking at it?

Dana:

Super excited, super excited, and I really think the potential is huge for positive change. And yes, there will be negative changes, negative impacts and externalities, but I'm just being super curious about it Learn, try, dabble. You know, big fan of whatever I hear about in YouTube, I go and try to play with it. We got to doodle the other day with my daughter. There's this AI tool that you can draw a doodle and generate art in the style of Picasso, and we came up with all those different artists and we tried to see how is that good, is that bad? How do we tweak it to make it look better?

Klara:

So it's super fun just to have this sandbox of possibilities and see what you can do with it, and I love how you're using that technology actually to educate your kids, that you use it to have a dialogue with them and make them think critically and asking the right question, and I think more parents should be doing that. I think there's no future without technology for us or our kids and it needs to become positive part of our lives and we need to learn how to use the technology for good instead of harm, and I think a lot of that responsibility obviously goes into hopefully parents teaching that, and I wish schools maybe taught it better than we have to date. But I think changing school curriculum is another level.

Dana:

I was one of those annoying parents. I made my son during the summer to live project. He's starting high school. Talking about transitions, I think he has a fairly good grasp about what to expect. Not great, but I feel like here, especially in this country, you spend your high school preparing for college and it's a big, big transition. So I made him go through this project of what does he need to do over the next three years to get into the college that he desires and the major that he desires. Why does he want to do that? What are the different milestones he needs to work towards improving his chances? Wow, doing what he wanted to do.

Dana:

And after he was done with his project, we sat together with chat GPT and we put in different prompts, like, as my guidance counselor, this is me and this is what I do and this is what I want to do Create a three-year plan for me. And I started, like, refining the prompt and it came pretty close to what my son was able to come up with on his own. Wow, a couple of good ideas of things that he did not consider. That's interesting. It was a fun exercise. He was like mommy, you made me do this research for three weeks and we could have just sat here for one hour. And he was the right answer, like oh, you're just triangulating your sources, right, wow?

Klara:

What a great exercise and hard exercise. I'm just curious what did he come up with? If you ask me, even now I don't know what I would come up with. Maybe I need to learn from your son.

Dana:

So he has this ambition desire to be a corporate business lawyer. He likes business and he likes law, he likes to be debating and creating arguments and stuff like that, and so that was his career choice. And then he had to justify why he chose that which schools are best in the US to get a good career and what are the majors to go into as an undergrad. And in order to get into these schools as an undergrad, well, you need to have good grades, but especially here it's so competitive in higher education, you need to have way more than good grades, right? So you need to build this athletic resume and you need to build this art resume and you need to build a service resume. So we created multiple milestones, like my freshman year, the first semester, I'm going to focus on my grades. I love that.

Dana:

And I'm going to start exploring the opportunities by the end of his first semester at school. By the end of fall, he would need to have determined what kind of big service project he wants to engage in over the next couple of years where he can execute it and start laying the ground for it, so that sophomore year, if he actually starts working on a junior year, he can show results, so that senior year, when he applies, he can get accepted.

Klara:

I love that. What a great idea and just a way to make him almost visualize and project the future. I think that's a really great exercise. Hopefully more parents are listening and maybe taking some tips. My internal athlete loves that. It's somewhat similar to just knowing your path and journey and creating almost a vision board for yourself of what you want to achieve. No-transcript, knowing how those little steps in the long run add up to the big vision you want to create. That's fantastic.

Dana:

I think one of the things that struggle with, sometimes with yourself or even you know, if you're a parent, you have these big dreams, right, and you just sit there and dream and dream and dream. But a goal without the plan is just a dream and it's not going to get anywhere. And I think I'm trying to build the discipline. You know, with myself and my children, that you need to have a plan. Without the plan, you're not going to get anywhere.

Klara:

I love that and also what it seems to me you're training them good decision making, understanding that whatever you put your mind into and value in your time and effort, it has a consequence. So you're committing to it, making a decision and commitment. They will then lead to next steps, almost creating a staircase to where you want to end up and thinking and probability that helps you? I hope so. What a great exercise and idea and I'm cheering for him. It seems like he has a good thoughtful plan and mom that will help keep him inspired and motivated, so I look forward to seeing what he grows into.

Dana:

I'm going to have him listen to this recording.

Klara:

Awesome and he thinks we want to close that with Dana and he. Tools or tips looking at transitions, what has helped us through it. We touch base quite a bit on trusting yourself, not setting expectations too high, looking at things through curious lens.

Dana:

Doing the groundwork to the extent that you can ahead of time, creating the space to do this transition as gracefully as possible and building habits and routines right whenever, whenever you have a change, you have a perturbation, and then you need to get back to the state and then putting that structure in place to get you to study state. Yes, it's a big one, actually Great. I can't think of anything else. If the listeners have any input, I hope they'll send you an email or a message and let us know.

Klara:

Yes, we can discuss it or iterate on it in our next series. Reach out to us if you have any other tips. We didn't consider.

Klara:

If you enjoyed this episode. I want to ask you to please do two things that would help me greatly. One, please consider leaving a review on Apple Podcasts, spotify or any other podcasting platform that you use to listen to this episode. Two, please share this podcast with a friend who you believe might enjoy it as well. It is a great way to remind someone you care about them by sharing a conversation they might be interested in. Thank you for listening.